I’m in a funk today. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, didn’t sleep well, am in the middle of an extremely difficult conversation with someone I love, and just have a general disdain for the world today.
Which is kindof strange considering it’s beautiful outside. All my friends in Florida are safe and their homes are still standing. I’ve written 8919 words this week. My workshop is full. I’m sober.
Speaking of being sober, Witching Hour is one week away and I’m in a funk so I forgot to promote it. But its one week away and I hope you will join us.
I have a lot of things to be grateful for and some days it is easier to rely on these things than other days. To quote one of my favourite substackers,
, “been having these “what’s the point” type thoughts and i know that sounds scary, i don’t mean it like that—there’s no loss of will to live, it’s just like, what is actually the point? of anything?”Lindsey also writes: “we must find joy in the process, but here i am in the process right now and it doesn’t feel so great, it feels like everything’s coming out wrong.”
It is possible that this is just a hormonal thing and tomorrow I will feel entirely differently (I probably will — I’m heading to a cottage by the lake with my man, a trip we’ve been looking forward to for months, to frolic in the leaves and be cozy by the fire —) but for today, I am feeling very much like whats-the-point.
Everyone and their sister has a substack. Everyone is pushing for more followers. Everyone is taking the courses on ‘How To Grow Your Substack” when we all know that the time for non-famous people to gain a serious following on here has passed. A lot of people I’ve talked to are sick of substack — there’s just too much going on here — and sad to see it turning into more of a social media platform than a place for writers to write. I don’t know if I’m there yet, but I definitely do feel more than a bit resentful when I see authors with massive followings try to teach the rest of us how to be like them when the reality is: we won’t ever be like them. Most of us exist in this space to a few dozen or a couple hundred subscribers, of which less than half will read every post we make.
It’s funny because of the five substacks I read every single time, no matter what, I only know two of them IRL (shoutout:
& !) and the others are just ones I randomly stumbled on and have since been trying to become internet friends with. The thing all of these five have in common: it’s good writing. And they’re never trying to sell me something. is one of those people — her substack, aptly titled: dear diary, is just like what it sounds like — a meandering purge of her innermost thoughts. They’re unpolished and clever and honest and at the end, she admits she has 405 subscribers and sometimes wonders what's-the-point. Another substack I love reading is from (who I just got to interview for my podcast, The Angsty Pod)! Julie just released a book into the world that is named after her substack, Like A Normal Person, and writes with the same reckless honesty that I admire in all the best memoirs I’ve read. Through her writing, I’ve made so many self-discoveries and she’s also funny AF.But. I’m not here to promote substack. I’m here to downgrade substack in my own life, de-center it, make it less important. It’s the same thing I’ve had to do with other forms of social media over the past few years — not an easy feat but an important one. I’m really enjoying reading my pal
’s notes that start: They said notes were the key to growth but have you ever: not buying a $40 smoothie at Erewhon? gone on a photowalk? And my own personal add: They say notes are the key to growth but have you ever tried just closing a few of your browser tabs?If substack is feeling a bit gross to you today, I encourage you to do three things:
1.) Unsubscribe from anything that fills you with dread or overwhelm or anything other than joy. That includes unsubscribing from me if it doesn’t serve you!
2.) Make an agreement with yourself to spend less time here. Post fewer notes. Stop looking at the data. Remove the app from your phone. These are all time-suckers.
3.) Ignore my advice completely and keep trying to grow your substack so you can quit the job you hate and become a professional writer. Keep writing raw shit like this and pressing ‘publish’ even though only six people will read it. Subscribe to all your friends. Write a note every day. Just don’t do it for the algorithm. Do it for you.
Okay, my rant/braindump is officially over. I’m crabby today and should probably sleep on this but what they heck, I’m just going to press PUBLISH and be done with these feelings for now.
Sending you all a lot of love and hope to see you at Witching Hour next Thursday. I promise I’ll be in a better mood by then <3
I’m so sick of “how to grow your follower” offerings as if we are all playing the same game. The game is riiiigged
Good lord YES, to this. You took so much that was clogged in my throat and plastered it here. THANK YOU!
I can’t keep up. I don’t wanna keep up! I’m starting to get that same feeling I had with FB…and I don’t like it. Gotta nip it in the bud, drop the pressure. Write when I feel like it, and not get addicted to scrolling.